With Friends
by zombieshmirtz
Summary: Major character deaths. Two long departed friends welcome an old and tired platypus to the afterlife.


**Title: **With Friends **  
>Summary:<strong> Two long departed friends welcome an old and tired platypus to the afterlife.  
><strong>Note: <strong>Just a little something I wrote one morning when writer's block was kicking my butt. Enjoy!

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><p><span><strong>With<strong> **Friends**

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><p>It was a hazy, late summer afternoon when Perry the Platypus fell into a deep sleep in his basket by the kitchen door. The rays of light that filtered through the glass were warm against his thinning fur, and it brought a slight smile to his bill. It had been a hectic day in the Flynn-Fletcher household, and an emotional one at that. Phineas and Ferb were officially college kids, and Perry could not of been more proud. He chattered softly to himself, recalling their parting words and their tight hugs. They looked so smart, so grown up-<p>

"Perry the Platypus...I'm back to _haunt_ you..."

"Will you knock it off, you fool?"

"What are you gonna do, Francis? _Kill_ me?"

Perry started suddenly, leaping upright. He looked around, feeling the adrenaline coursing through his veins. It was a dream. It _had_ to be a dream. This had happened before, but not for a very long time. His nemesis was dead, and he had been for three agonizing years. And his boss, Major Monogram, had been gone for even longer. Perry could still remember both of those days, and he fought endlessly to just try and forget. He made to grab his beaten fedora from behind his basket and jam it on his head. Only nothing happened. His paw merely went right through it.

"Boo!"

His head swivelled from left to right. There was no mistaking that voice, and Perry felt his fur stand on end. He looked up. And let out a chatter so loud that it rattled his bones. There, right above his head, was Heinz Doofenshmirtz, his very _dead _nemesis. He looked exactly the same as the day that Perry had first met him. His lab coat seemed to float behind him, like it was being carried by some kind of invisible wind. His eyes were alive, his excited grin was alive, but there was no way that _Heinz_ could possibly be alive. Perry went to his funeral. He still had the remembrance pamphlet underneath a blanket in his basket. He had sat right next to Vanessa and tried to console her, even though his own heart felt like it had been forcibly torn from his chest.

"Geez, do you even know how long I've been waiting for you?" Heinz swooped down so fast that Perry felt his chest tighten, and he toppled onto the floor, skittering backwards in complete terror. "I've been so _bored_! You should try spending years with only Monobrow for company! Would it of killed you to just die earlier? Well yeah, it would have, but that isn't really the _point_! But you're here now, so I guess I can't really complain, right?"

Heinz looked contemptuously over to the other side of the kitchen, and Perry turned around slowly, almost too frightened to take a look. But when he eventually mustered up enough courage, his eyes fell on his old boss. Major Monogram looked like he had decreased in age, although his moustache and hair still glittered silver in the light. His uniform was pressed to perfection, just like it always was when he was alive.

"Good afternoon, Agent P. Before we make any kind of move, tell me," Major Monogram suddenly looked uncomfortable and he toed at the ground that was inches from the bottoms of his shoes. "Is Carl keeping the others in check? It isn't that I don't trust the kid, he can just be a little bit...ditzy at times. I've been keeping an eye on him, but a viewpoint from someone alive would reassure me a lot more."

Perry clambered to his feet and nodded, unsure.

"Good. I miss that little unpaid intern," Major Monogram contemplated for a moment then smiled suddenly and took a few steps toward Perry, who promptly froze on the spot and fought the urge to make a break for the door. Were they ghosts? Half alive? Zombies? _Flying zombies_? "Now that that's out of the way, welcome to the afterlife, Agent P! We've been waiting for a long time. Guess you wanted to hang around to see your boys off to college, huh?"

Perry blanched. He was dead, just like that? He only laid down for a nap!

"Happens pretty quick right?" Heinz said from overhead. He swooped clumsily around the kitchen light, eventually grinding to a halt to peer down at his nemesis. "Painless too. And being dead seriously isn't that bad! I wasn't very coordinated when I was alive, and this whole walking through walls thing is exactly what I needed!"

Perry flexed his arms curiously and looked down at himself. He didn't feel very different. It wasn't cold, or unfeeling. In fact, the only thing missing was the tiredness that had been burdening him over the past couple of weeks. Perry felt strangely elated, like he was ten years younger and gearing up to go stop an evil scheme. He looked back up at Heinz and tentatively pushed himself away from the ground.

"There you go, that's the spirit! _Spirit_, get it, Perry the Platypus?"

Heinz held out a hand, and Perry grabbed onto it without a second thought. The hand was warm and comforting, exactly as he remembered it. As he was pulled higher, he was reminded of driving tests, new year's eve balls and building inators out in the wilderness. His throat suddenly burned at the memories and he swallowed hard, looking back down at where Major Monogram was watching them from the floor. He had missed them both tremendously, more than he ever thought he could miss any human beings. Perry felt himself being tugged towards the ceiling and before he could brace himself, he was tugged right through it. Heinz laughed and lowered them again until they were back on the on earth, twirling them both in a neat circle as they landed.

"We should get going, Heinz. Are you done fooling around?"

"You're such a spoilsport, Franny. You literally bore me to death."

Perry was suddenly filled with panic, and he tugged at Heinz's hand.

_You aren't going to leave me again, are you?_

"Don't be silly, _dummkopf_! You're coming with us!"

"Certainly, I haven't spent the past three years waiting for you with _this_ moron for the good of my health," Major Monogram eyed Heinz in mild annoyance, and Perry felt the band that seemed to have tightened around his chest loosen a little. "We can go wherever you like. Except the agency, because Carl has a second sense, and seeing us again might very well be the end of him."

"Now _that_ is a story I need to tell you, Perry the Platypus," Heinz said with a smirk. "I've never seen a guy with no nostrils spit milk out of his nose, it was awesome!"

"Very well then," Major Monogram coughed and glanced over at Perry's lifeless body. He looked like he was in a deep, peaceful sleep. "We'll have to get going before anybody gets home. Are you ready, Agent P?"

Perry looked at himself, and thought about Phineas and Ferb, miles away from Danville and living their lives. He was so proud of them that he felt like he could simply burst. He had spent all his life protecting them from the world so that they were ready to go out alone and face it. And now, it was his turn to let go and enjoy a brand new afterlife. He smiled and squeezed Heinz's hand, giving Major Monogram a nod of approval.

"I'd suggest stopping for food on the way, but it'd go _right through_ me."

"Heinz, if you weren't already dead, I'd strangle you to death with no remorse."

Perry grinned. It was time to go.


End file.
